chevy sucks (jokes) - Dodge Durango Forum and Dodge Dakota Forums
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post #1 of Old 12-09-2008, 10:51 PM Thread Starter
boggboy
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chevy sucks (jokes)

Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.


Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.


Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.


Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the dodge towing it.


Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope


Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys


Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15
seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.


Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.


Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said,
"I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.


Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?


Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.


Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.


Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.


Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.


Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.


Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two dodges


Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.


Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the
shop


Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the dodges gas when the dodge tows them away.


Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?


Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a dodge engine in it.


Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his Chevy into the shop


Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his Silverado got stuck.


Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.


CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy
Engineering Techniques


CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.


CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.


CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.


CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.


CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually
Towed


CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet


GMC= Garage Man's Companion


GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company


GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming


GMC= Gay Mans Chariot


GM= General Mistake


GM= Glued Metal


GM – Mark of Ignorance


A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking.
Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with
me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the
sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and
I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned
and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"


Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
our tools would rust.


From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
road. The rest made it home.


Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can"


Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.


Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the
rest.


I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.


Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.


You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit
and rust in a stream.


A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how
many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man,
growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how
much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young
man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup
at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the
other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back
quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck
too"!


Here I sit brokenhearted
Wishing that my Chevy started
But it didn't so thats a wrap
I think I'll shoot this piece of crap


"Chevy, built like a rock and runs like one too."

CHEVROLET = Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Lousy ETs

Last edited by boggboy; 12-09-2008 at 11:44 PM.
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post #2 of Old 12-09-2008, 11:39 PM
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That entire thing puts fords above chevy I don't get it

360 NV3500 needing to get back to the track last best 14.15 @96.5 with the 318
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post #3 of Old 12-09-2008, 11:41 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plum95 View Post
That entire thing puts fords above chevy I don't get it
i got it from a ford website i was a ford fan before i liked dodge ford is in my blood and will always be
ill change the fords to dodges just cause this is a dodge site
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post #4 of Old 12-09-2008, 11:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plum95 View Post
That entire thing puts fords above chevy I don't get it
lol because ford is better than chevy

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post #5 of Old 12-10-2008, 12:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maverick4.7 View Post
lol because ford is better than chevy
again I don't get it fords better than anything......nope doesn't make sence really though I don't like fords, people can tell if a ford was the last thing I worked on because I'll be in a bad mood the rest of the night. I just hate the head up ass engineering that uses 17 sensors and 23 actuators to do the same thing everyone else does with one of each.

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post #6 of Old 12-10-2008, 12:30 AM
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yup I just sent that to 3 Chevy fans I know, they are going to kill me...

favorite one " Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65,
Chevys-do the
best you can" "
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post #7 of Old 12-10-2008, 03:18 AM
threesixoh
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plum95 View Post
again I don't get it fords better than anything......nope doesn't make sence really though I don't like fords, people can tell if a ford was the last thing I worked on because I'll be in a bad mood the rest of the night. I just hate the head up ass engineering that uses 17 sensors and 23 actuators to do the same thing everyone else does with one of each.
I know what you mean. my girlfriend has a '95 contour and I refuse to go near it. I learned my lesson when I changed the motor mounts on it.

oh, btw, you know what ford really stands for?



F***ing Old Rebuilt Dodge :P
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post #8 of Old 12-10-2008, 03:30 AM
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Sorry but I have driven all 3 and owned 2. Hands down Dodges are the best, not just saying that, it's a fact. Neither one of my dodges spent as much time in the shop as my GMC, My dads 91 Silverado or my Dad's 97 F-150. The only vehicle my parents owned that never had any problems was their 88 Ramcharger. But when It comes to Ford vs. Chevy. My GMC and Dads Silverado stayed in the shop way more than his 97 F-150 (which has over 200K miles) & and 04 F-250. So with an experience in all three I can say that yes Ford is better than Chevy.

Plus when ford owners talk about there vehicles being better than everyone elses it's all in good fun. When a GM owner says theirs is better than everyone elses it's cause they belive it to be true. But when a Mopar owner says theirs is better than everyone elses, ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS!


Sold: 97 Dakota Sport v6
Sold: 84 Power Ram W150

Sold: 06 AB Hemi Ram 1500 4x4
00 IB Dakota R/T
06 Ford F-250 Powerstroke
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