Drunk Stories about yourself

[Bryan]

I had to share this because I had a good laugh.

I was talking to my buddy tonight, because I noticed he was in town. He said he came up to his dad's for dinner with his girlfriend. It had been a while since I talked to him and didn't know he had a girlfriend. He was like "Yeah, you met her last time you were down..." and explained who she was. After the little reminder I knew exactly who she was.

Then he went "Yeah, don't you remember makin' out with her friend in the bathroom?"
I was like "WHAT!?, I don't remember that!"

It was a long story, but I got hammered, ended up getting sick in the bathroom...I cleaned up, but stayed in the bathroom...Thats as far I remember, but aparently she came in and we ended up foolin' around, and I don't remember a thing.

But I do remember that she was moderately good looking...I remember her coming into the bathroom and pissing while I was cleaning up...and I remember waking up in a bed with all my cloths.

So it wasn't an extreme story, but I thought it was funny.

Share your drunkerd story.

[dak-rt-2a-XR]

18 years old...drunk off my ass on Jim Beam....

Freinds and all of us decide to go to the club and watch girls shake they ass...

Pit stop...mind you we are in Kentucky...so of course they needed some weed...were to get it this time of night? The sticks of course...

Go to dudes house...im so drunk I cant see straight already....that bad drunk where no matter what you drink you cant taste it anymore = danger...

Old boys have a bottle with them....looks like water.... :drool: Nope....they say have a sip laughing....and as I turn it up..."you know thats moonshine right??"...why no I didnt...but hell who cares....turn it up again....ALOT of moonshine....god....

Get to club...mind you an hour drive from the sticks. Im BLITZED...like I still have never been as drunk as I was agian. Meet with friends at club...I decide to enjoy my buzz and not even attempt to pretend i can walk.... :jester:

Friend say cool....we will check on you every now and then... :biggthump

They do...different ones come at different times to make sure I have drowned in my own vomit...I couldnt telll who it was but I knew someone was there....

Two Girls who are freinds decide to check on me and they bring another friend who I had only seen before....Hot scale SOBER 8/10....hot scale drunk 20/10....and she is as blitzed as I am....

Now what I can remember...Girl says....god he is sexy drunk....and im horny.... :banana2: I was told I was RAPED...literally...I suffered no negative effects though.... :jester:

Okay...you think its all fun now right....im drunk...getting raped...yeah....well think again... :rant: Apparently the girls went in to tell everyone Brad's in the car getting raped and go figure....girls EX boyfreind was looking for her...finds her and a car braking in the supension if you know what i mean...rips the door open and yanks her out and she is screaming....someone sees this and runs to get help.

I dont have a fucking clue whats going on all i hear is him and her screaming....mind ive got my pants around my ankles and drunk like 10's the legal limit it seems...he goes around the car and opens the other door and comensed to beating my head with a FUCKING ROCK :rant: while i lay there trying to figure out what that bumping on my head is that I cant feel....

Thank God for friends....three came at him and gave him the beating of his life... :biggthump

Ambulance comes...takes us both to the hospital....in the same ambulance....he is uncounious though and of all the flashbacks I can remember....thats where it ended.

Woke up some time later in the hospital. 14 staples to shut the wound in my head...didnt care to know what he got, buy he lived anyways. Drunk 4x tyhe legal limit. Friends take me home...I pass out... :jester:

Wake up next day....OMG...I smell like Sex, Blood, Alcohol, and puke all at the same time....and then the guys have a good laugh telling me what happened... :jester:

Thats my drunk story..needless to say I havent been that drunk nor do I ever wanna be again....

[Bryan]

That was a pretty good story. Atleast you remember the bangin...I don't remember any of the good parts.

I don't even remember being that drunk. But I had an upset stomach to start, then ate KFC, then started drinking Mike's Hard Cranberry, well a case of Mike's and several UV shots. Thats the ONLY time I have ever been sick while drinking, but hey...I'm only 20...I have some time.

I want to try Disarono soooo bad.
I cannot stand beer...I am all for the expensive shit.

[GOON'S D]

I got my name goon from being a drunken disaster in college. I will try and think up some good ones.

[Captain Chaos]

18 years old...drunk off my ass on Jim Beam....

Freinds and all of us decide to go to the club and watch girls shake they ass...

Pit stop...mind you we are in Kentucky...so of course they needed some weed...were to get it this time of night? The sticks of course...

Go to dudes house...im so drunk I cant see straight already....that bad drunk where no matter what you drink you cant taste it anymore = danger...

Old boys have a bottle with them....looks like water.... :drool: Nope....they say have a sip laughing....and as I turn it up..."you know thats moonshine right??"...why no I didnt...but hell who cares....turn it up again....ALOT of moonshine....god....

Get to club...mind you an hour drive from the sticks. Im BLITZED...like I still have never been as drunk as I was agian. Meet with friends at club...I decide to enjoy my buzz and not even attempt to pretend i can walk.... :jester:

Friend say cool....we will check on you every now and then... :biggthump

They do...different ones come at different times to make sure I have drowned in my own vomit...I couldnt telll who it was but I knew someone was there....

Two Girls who are freinds decide to check on me and they bring another friend who I had only seen before....Hot scale SOBER 8/10....hot scale drunk 20/10....and she is as blitzed as I am....

Now what I can remember...Girl says....god he is sexy drunk....and im horny.... :banana2: I was told I was RAPED...literally...I suffered no negative effects though....

Okay...you think its all fun now right....im drunk...getting raped...yeah....well think again... :rant: Apparently the girls went in to tell everyone Brad's in the car getting raped and go figure....girls EX boyfreind was looking for her...finds her and a car braking in the supension if you know what i mean...rips the door open and yanks her out and she is screaming....someone sees this and runs to get help.

I dont have a fucking clue whats going on all i hear is him and her screaming....mind ive got my pants around my ankles and drunk like 10's the legal limit it seems...he goes around the car and opens the other door and comensed to beating my head with a FUCKING ROCK :rant: while i lay there trying to figure out what that bumping on my head is that I cant feel....

Thank God for friends....three came at him and gave him the beating of his life... :biggthump

Ambulance comes...takes us both to the hospital....in the same ambulance....he is uncounious though and of all the flashbacks I can remember....thats where it ended.

Woke up some time later in the hospital. 14 staples to shut the wound in my head...didnt care to know what he got, buy he lived anyways. Drunk 4x tyhe legal limit. Friends take me home...I pass out... :jester:

Wake up next day....OMG...I smell like Sex, Blood, Alcohol, and puke all at the same time....and then the guys have a good laugh telling me what happened... :jester:

Thats my drunk story..needless to say I havent been that drunk nor do I ever wanna be again....
Thats the best drunk story ever. :jester: I'm jealous.

[Corepred4]

alright well about a year and a half ago i throw my first house party...starts to rain so i think nobody's coming so i start getting fucked up! different vodkas, rums, you know just all kinds...so i'm fucked up to hell...i guess outta no where EVERYONE shows up! i'm fucked up so i'm confused on why there's so many people... i have 3 "brothers" just really close friends and i'm the youngest so they look after me... guess my ex shows up with her new man...i punch him, he punches me which i can't feel but since i'm the "baby" brother my bro's whoop his ass... somehow i was drunk/smooth enough to get some from my ex..weird but great...go downstairs and i guess i accidently bump into this guy who pushes me...again bro's handle it...other friend helps me to my room i guess thinking i was hurt...end up getting some...don't remember anything after that but i woke up next to another girl who was my gf now my ex...don't think i did anything with her though...anyways getting drunk is fuckin awesome...and having people to look after you is even better... :mullet: i love my life!!!

[02daksxt]

ha .. i got one for you guys. very first college party right, actually it was this past summer (17 and always get drunk with the same guys, wanted to try somethin different) go down and chill at my sis's place and started drinkin around 2 .. in the afternoon. im takin shot after shot .. beer after beer. 11 rolls by QUICK. my sis' bf is in a band right, there drummer shows up with a pint of Jack (only my favortie drink in the world. i am piss drunk and drooling all over the pint (fucked up part was that i was sitting next to 2 fucking hot chicks that wanted it bad) he looks at me, looks at the Jack and says "you want this? if you want it, you have to chug the entire thing." im thinking fuck yea, this is before i learned the "no liqour after beer" rule. the whole pint is gone within 30 sec to a min. i sit there .. piss fuckin drunk and the chicks leave. im thining "where the hell are the chicks going. 5 min later, i find out why the left. i go running out the back door and puke up what felt like 3 different lungs. i look up and someone is videotaping me. all i could say was "you got a beer?' anyways, i got back in the house, chig a few more beers and go outside with the guys. whenever i drink whiskey i tend to get physical, well, next thing i know, me and my sis's b/f are beating the fuck out of each other, we werent mad at wach other, just drunk. so .. my ass gets beat so i want more beer, thhen around 1230 i pass out by the apartment, a few people carry me upstairs where i layed there for bout 4 hours pss drunk and not knowing whats going on. then i hear some shit bout an ambulance and hear my sister screaming bloody murder. im like shit .. this is how im gonna fuckn die .. at least im drunk and dont feel anything. woke up with the worlds worst hangover, blood is all over my body, got a shit load of scares on my back. .. yea fun? night .. not!

[Brian22]

a few years ago i was dating a girl and she had an identicle twin sister... well one night i showed up at her place drunk (they both lived together) and i ended up having sex with the wrong sister... i could barely tell them apart when i was sober, much less drunk... long story short, the chick i was dating got more pissed off at her sister for letting it happen than she did at me, but we did end up breaking up over it...

but ya know what... it was worth it :banana2:

[missMyLS1]

i was 14, drunk, getting head in the aunt's closet from some girl i just met and she wasn't very good at it so after who know's how long i just tried to pee in her mouth cause it seemed like a funny thing to do. i couldnt muster up a nut or a peepee for her so i tried to hit it but she was a virgin and i was too drunk and it woulda only been like my 3rd time "doing it"...so it wasnt working.

later on that night some other female was laying down on the couch i called dibs on earlier and i told her to move, she said no. i told her to move again and she said no. so, i told her that i was gonna lay down next to her and she would have to suffer the consequences. after a few minutes of me feeling on her butt and boobs she got up. :jester:

good memories. :beer:

[jmaack727]

i just tried to pee in her mouth cause it seemed like a funny thing to do. i couldnt muster up a nut or a peepee for her good memories. :beer:
Ha thats funny right there
:beer: :usa2:

[Dak04ota]

this is before i learned the "no liqour after beer" rule


UGH!! It's the other way around... You can't put beer on whiskey "Beer on whiskey always risky" "Whiskey on beer never fear"

Think about it...put the whiskey in there and add carbonation...not a good scene.

[Dak04ota]

Well this is a drunk story and how I lost my V so here goes.

I was a freshman in college, (yeah late start but I've made up for it), and I went to this girl's dorm who was a senior. Not bad, cute face, a little chubby. So everyone is having a good time and she walks up to me in front of everyone and asks if I want to go back to her room.

That's when I let out the quote of the century "I'm not drunk enough yet"!! Mind you this is in front of everyone. My buddy just cringes because he was afraid of what the hell might come outta her mouth next.

What does she do?? Yeah that's right, she went and got me more beer. About 3 hours later I wake up in bed with her!!

[85burbanator]

last time i got drunk i ended up fighting in the bar parking lot. got my face kicked in, it was a blast. learned a lesson though. it isnt a good idea to fight a stranger if you cant tell which one of him is real and which is just a decoy put there to throw you off (re:seeing double).

[9t9-5.2]

I had to share this because I had a good laugh.

I was talking to my buddy tonight, because I noticed he was in town. He said he came up to his dad's for dinner with his girlfriend. It had been a while since I talked to him and didn't know he had a girlfriend. He was like "Yeah, you met her last time you were down..." and explained who she was. After the little reminder I knew exactly who she was.

Then he went "Yeah, don't you remember makin' out with her friend in the bathroom?"
I was like "WHAT!?, I don't remember that!"

It was a long story, but I got hammered, ended up getting sick in the bathroom...I cleaned up, but stayed in the bathroom...Thats as far I remember, but aparently she came in and we ended up foolin' around, and I don't remember a thing.

But I do remember that she was moderately good looking...I remember her coming into the bathroom and pissing while I was cleaning up...and I remember waking up in a bed with all my cloths.

So it wasn't an extreme story, but I thought it was funny.

Share your drunkerd story.
Yea right, they all look that way once the beer goggles go on.

[platinumDAK]

last time i got drunk i ended up fighting in the bar parking lot. got my face kicked in, it was a blast. learned a lesson though. it isnt a good idea to fight a stranger if you cant tell which one of him is real and which is just a decoy put there to throw you off (re:seeing double).


sounds like me but its was about 5 security guards at a wu-tang show this past summer and hot as fuck...missed half the show and got a nice black eye.. :beer: :beer:

[85burbanator]

mine was a bouncer at a redneck bar, a few knots in my head and a popped vessel in my eye was the only damage. i couldnt stop laughing, it was actually a very pathetic fight if you can even call it that lol. :jester: :beer:

[Corepred4]

Well this is a drunk story and how I lost my V so here goes.

I was a freshman in college
holy crap you were a virgin in college!! not bagging but damn!! and i'm not too sure but if i remember right i drank beer first then chugged some liquor so i think he has it right...beer before liquor you've never been sicker, liquor before beer your in the clear..i think thats right i don't know you might be right somebody look it up..lol

[platinumDAK]

yea its liquar before beer you in the clear...

thats why most people go to the bar grab a couple shots then drink beer rest of the nite..

[SinCity R/T]

Liquor before beer, never fear.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

[Bryan]

Yea right, they all look that way once the beer goggles go on.


Actualy I meant she was moderately good looking before we started drinking.


I really don't like beer...at all! So I am alway into drinks and shots. Liquid Viagras are so good is scary, and after holding my buddy shot for shot on UV I can no longer stand the taste, but I never got sick that night, actualy not even a hang over. After getting sick on Mike's Hard I can no longer tolerate that taste either. Captain-Dr. Pepper is really good and has become me regular drink, but I really really want to try Disarono. I will have to get someone to get a bottle for me (since I'm still only 20).

I have noticed that when I drink drinks, and my buddies drink beer, they wake up sore and hung over, and I wake up just fine every time, even after the night I got totaly sick.

[85burbanator]

got another drunk story. im druck and posting on here. wooot wooot hahhaha :beer:

[darwinbohnke]

a few years ago i was dating a girl and she had an identicle twin sister... well one night i showed up at her place drunk (they both lived together) and i ended up having sex with the wrong sister... i could barely tell them apart when i was sober, much less drunk... long story short, the chick i was dating got more pissed off at her sister for letting it happen than she did at me, but we did end up breaking up over it...

but ya know what... it was worth it :banana2:

it would have been better if you got them drunk and got it on with them both

[01 Mudslinger]

NEW YEARS '07

yea thats right, this happend this past sunday nite, me and a buddy go to a bar, we get there early like 6 so we can play some pool before it gets all crowded. well we are drinking and shooting pool and my buddy decides to call another one our friends and his wife and tell them to come, so they show up with a buddy of thiers and his wife too. No problem, we all play pool commence to gettin hammered, well ive never had Yager before, always been strait Jack Daniels, turns out i like it so im hammering shots of Yager and still Slamming Bud lights. by the time midnite gets here im sittin in a chair at the table with all them fixin to pass out, well then its time to puke and couldnt stop it, so i discreetly haha puke in the floor between my legs, like 1 min. before midnite, so 12 hits and everybody is kissing, well the buddies wife that came with the buddies we call for some reason decides its more important to revive me instead of kissin her hubby(keep in mind ive never met this chick or talked to her the whole nite). so she is up in my lap tellin me to wake up and stand up and she trys to kiss me, im like no im good, get away and all that, well when she gets up i see her hubby eyeballin me with the ol Crazy eye so im like this fucker is fixin to bounce, so i bounce first, shit im drunker i gotter get the upper hand. so i hit him, he hits me, we go down to the ground, i work my way to the top, then i get blindsided by somebody, still have no idea, got me around the neck from behind, dragged me out the bar and threw me on the pavement, hit my temple and busted it open, BAD, knocked me out, my buddy finally got to me and got me woke back up. i had blood everywhere, haha, all over some dudes whore wife, lol, but i had a blast.... :jester:

[shakerR/T]

i just tried to pee in her mouth cause it seemed like a funny thing to do
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAA Thats helarious. Girls that cant give head suck ok so heres mine.
I was at a waterski tourney which are actually drinking tourneys that we ski at. Sooo it was my 3rd time drinkin im very controlled and a nice drunk. Soooo I had a bout 15 or so bud lights and I was feelin nice. It was a dance party theme and boy to drunk chicks like to dry hump on the dance floor. Made out with a few girls on the dance floor then went to drunk dial the best friend. Soo these two girls(hottest ones at the tourney) come back to where im at and someone wrote something on her back with a sharpie(mind you they are only in bras and panties). Sooo the girls asks me to whipe the stuff off and i was like Welll what do i get outta the deal? soo she said she would makeout with me soooo whiped it off and had a nice little makeout then my friend(still on the phone) tells me to tell her to take her bra off and she ends up calling me a perv which pisses me off because i dont remember telling her to take her bra off. Soo I told her to fuck off and didnt talk to her anymore haha. Ahhhh cant wait til next season its always beerthirty. Not that great but thats my story. :beer:

[SLT kota]

then i hear some shit bout an ambulance and hear my sister screaming bloody murder. im like shit .. this is how im gonna fuckn die .. at least im drunk and dont feel anything. woke up with the worlds worst hangover, blood is all over my body, got a shit load of scares on my back. .. yea fun? night .. not!

what happened?

Most intresting thing for me would be peeing on my best friend's coffie table then calling BS about it because when I didn't believe it.

They tell me that I was watching porn with his mom (we all were eairlier) and talking about how I love my dick so much and am very proud, this I have no memory of but... ya know.

[SLT kota]

a few years ago i was dating a girl and she had an identicle twin sister... well one night i showed up at her place drunk (they both lived together) and i ended up having sex with the wrong sister... i could barely tell them apart when i was sober, much less drunk... long story short, the chick i was dating got more pissed off at her sister for letting it happen than she did at me, but we did end up breaking up over it...

but ya know what... it was worth it :banana2:

why, what was the difference between the two? lol

[WhyteChocolate]

Liquor before beer, never fear.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

Hmmmm.... well I feel stupid. I was drunk when I heard this the first time. I thought it was Beer before liqour, never be sicker. The other way around sure does make sense now though..... Only story I have is getting too drunk at a party and pissing on the foor and in the tub;then going home and sleeping in the hallway. The end

[buzzbass]

18 yrs old, drunk off my ass from a work christmas party. I got someone to drive me home. Got home about midnight and snuck into the house, fully lit up, parents sitting @ the kitchen table. I come "sneeking" in, right past them, never noticed them. I thought I was home free. Decide to go into the bathroom to take a dump and proceede to fall asleep on the shitter :drool: . Dad comes in an hour later, wakes me and escorts me to bed. As soon as my ass hit that bed it happened immediately :vomit: . Could've done it while I was in the crapper, but no, I had to fill my bed with yack. We still laugh about that at family gatherings

[SLT kota]

bump.... lets hears some more, this is getting funny

[Perdue]

How about getting hammered at your best friend's vacation house sitting around the fire. Their dog comes up and has one of those invisible barrier shock collars on...idea! Here, hold my beer. Put the collar on and take off running at the invisible fence, only to be dropped by a severe shock to the neck, which continues to zap you because your momentum has carried you past the invisible fence and you can't get up to get back across. Now that sucks. :onethumb:

[dodgesportz26]

worst thing to do is have a camcorder while your drunk mistake 1. Dont pass liquior around a huge bonfire and think you can reach through the fire ( Fell right into the fire) 2. Dont play chicken with cars while being naked and doing push ups in the middle of the road ( in the prescence of girls lol) And its true candy is dandy but liquior is quicker and mainly never pass out first you dont know what the hell your going to look like in the morning the good ole days wait i mean a year ago

[Rob454]

Went to Tijuana with a bunch of guys from my old platoon. Basically got bombed out of our minds and got in a fight with the federales. This was back in 90-91. We all took off running across to the US side and basically rished the border patrol guys there seceaming from the top of our lungs US marines. they kept asking us to state our citizenship but we all kept saying US marines. We were getting pissed cause they wouldnt let us pass and the federales were waiting on their side. Finally one of the border guards said you need to answer us with american citizen not US marine.
Finally the words sunk through the drunken fog and we were allowed to pass. I cant remember how we got back all I remember is we had live fire drills the next morning and for some reason Top seemed to especially enjoy when they were firing 50 cals. he would look at us shake his head and laugh. That was the last time I drank that heavy. I rarely drink now and to get me drunk basically would take a act of god
Rob

[85burbanator]

How about getting hammered at your best friend's vacation house sitting around the fire. Their dog comes up and has one of those invisible barrier shock collars on...idea! Here, hold my beer. Put the collar on and take off running at the invisible fence, only to be dropped by a severe shock to the neck, which continues to zap you because your momentum has carried you past the invisible fence and you can't get up to get back across. Now that sucks. :onethumb:

we used to do that with one of those hunting dog training collars, you know the one with a remote that triggers the coller and controls the intesity (insert devilish grin). never seen a 350 lb man drop so fast in my life :jester:

[SLT kota]

hahahaha!!!!

I also thought that they stopped shocking when you went over the fence... my neibor's dogs fence did and they knew it, they would get a runing start and yelp as they ran throught the fence but then they were free lol.

I'll post more this weekend... big party weekend and my best friend (girl) is comming up who is dating my best guy friend... last time I kissed her on the cheek and kinda pissed him off lol. (Hey I introduced them, I can kiss on the cheek!)

[dodgesportz26]

shock collars- 3 man-0 I think a bunch of drunk guys around one another you dont know what the hell is going to happen a bunch of us when bowling i was trashed bought nachos for no damn reason no one wanted them threw the bowling ball backwards my highest score was like a 30 my g/f whooped my ass in bowling and i lost my pants while bowling lets just say that was another night that was crazy

[hlheavyd]

21 bday... im already out on my own, dad buys me a bottle of VO wiskey for my day, roommate throws party, with $300 more in booze, beer, it was quite amazing acutally.. anywho party starts, i take my dad's Bottle, and start playing quarters, well, i was wiinning and wasnt drinking and losing my buzz, so i started loosing on purpose and before i knew it that entire bottle was gone.. miniutes later, i felt it coming back up, ran to the bathroom and as soon as i closed the door :vomit: while i turn my head to the john.. went all over the sink/wall THEN to the tilot.. gawd what a mess the next moring, good think we had 2 bathrooms :onethumb: my roommate got laid, and i missed out... :slap: Never drank like that again.. 22nd birthday, played it cool, got some booty from some neighbor of mine... whom im still dating, hi honey

[Bryan]

Had to bring this thread back because of this weekend.

I'll start by saying that the night STARTED with a shot of Patrone, and it wasn't the only one of the night.

2 drinks and a handful of shots and I was feeling pretty good.
I got a ride back to a friends appartment and the party began. Between 4 of us we POLISHED a bottle of Tequila! About half way through the bottle the girls said that it was "Take a shot, loose an article of clothing". I remember taking a shot and one of the girls taking off my shirt. The next thing I remember is puking in the toilet, then I remember one of the girls helping me to bed.
I woke up about 10:30 the next morning in my boxers in my friends bed with her.

I had to get filled in on the details the next night. I'm really pissed hearing that I missed some lesbian action, and the party went on a good 2 hours after I passed out.

I get a raise this week at work, and the girls are getting back together next weekend...I'm not missing the girls next weekend!!

[Fastrac]

Sounds like somebody needs to keep a camera handy...

[GoGoDurango]

the first time i got drunk i was at the beach at a fire department convention. there were 3 guys including me and 1 girl sharing a hotel room. i wanted to share the bed with the girl but one of the other guys jumped into it first so i got dicked. later that night i was plastered beyond all reason and i was talking all kinds of shit. i was calling here a bitch, slut, whore, etc. all the names in the book because she was gonna sleep in the bed with some other guy. after that she pushed me over onto the couch in the room and i got up real quick ran into the bathroom and started praying to the porcelain god. the other guy came to the bathroom and asked if i was ok and i said in a second, threw up again, then i was like, yup now im ok. not really that funny but i remember it fairly well

[99dakota5.2]

Hm.. the storys have been pretty entertainin to read LOL.. Ok let me think... Ok heres the best one i got. Was at my sisters appt, lots o people there. We was gettin shit faced and this one dude was hammered, so he said he was leavin, went around shook our hands and stood by the door. Then he announced again he was leavin. Went around shook everyones hand then stood by the door. He did this like 10 fuckin times, and everyone was like wtf, but no one said anything, so me bein a asshole drunk was like dude man, wtf if your leavin get the fuck out. He didnt like it i guess and called me out. So me bein a drunk prick said ok, so we go outside, big crowd. He like squares up like hes mike tyson, dancin around n shit, i started laughin, then he swung on me, hit me and thats when i got pissed.. I mauled this guy swingin to kill, then started stompin him.. LOL like 10 dudes pulled me away, we left him there and went back in and started drinkin again.. Made alot of friends that night, some good ones too!!

[Max713]

oh shit...here i go :D

so it starts at my buddys house, me, 4 friends and 1 girl(1 of the buddies date?)...

so we are hangin out and buddy 1 and buddy 2(with girl) leave to get some alcohol... little do they know i have a fifth of pendleton...:jester:after passin the bottle... thoroughly we deside it wud be funny to tie the girl up to the bed, u know the standard hands and feet to each corner bedpost...

then we took 4 condoms, spit in em, layed em around here and dropped our pants when we heard the car pull up... the girl was laughin the whole time and after a brief chase(step, step, stumble... eat shit) buddy 2 realizes its just a joke and lets it be...

then girl drives me, buddy 3 and 4 into town to hunt down more beer... after the 10 minute drive of the constant repeating and drunk singing of the song dragostea din tei (by o-zone, seriously look it up, ull then realize how funny it is!) we arive in town and go to our fav. gas station...

mildly hammered i walk in without a plan and decide its a good idea to steal a box of condoms... i grab em... and run.... head long into a god dam post card stand thing... that got a good laugh outta the cashier...

then we cruise through town... keep in mind this is a town with one mainstreet, pop. 2000 people... anyways imagine a bunch of hicks in an old cummins rollin through town with the roman techno blarin... singing our lungs out... funny right? one guy didnt think so and i threw the empty pendleton bottle at his head... knocked him on his ass and we got the fuck outta there...

we finally hooked up with our booze supply and pick up 2, 30 packs? told us bout a party/bonfire out in B.F.E and we decided it wud be great to attend... i pitched in ...a LOT so 20 of 1 of those 30 packs went straight in my backpack...

now imagine a drunk 17 year old running(stumbling) as fast as he can with a backpack full of beer as the cops just showed up...

the girl for some reason stuck with me and after deciding we were far enuff away to walk(fell down...) we somehow ended up in a field type area? and i ended up 1 condom short of the stolen box... ended up back at buddy 3s house...

all i know from there is i woke up with an empty back pack.... empty box of condoms... next to MY ex girlfriend? lol wtf right?

EDIT: took me 2 hours to write this... as i am severely... intoxicated? vicadin+beer=:brick:

thankgod for spellcheck...

[BAD]

i got too many stories, and too little time to write all of them. I'll post some later

[DakotaLivLrg]

i got no stories since i never drink :jester:

[WarrensD]

i got no stories since i never drink :jester:I can tell a number of tales about you, if you'd like.

[WarrensD]

...told us bout a party/bonfire out in B.F.E and we...HAHAHAHAHHA...I thought "BFE" was a local phenomena!
My brother's remote property has a huge sign: "BFE Acres."

[painsonlyapulse]

i lived in orlando, fla for 2 years to go MMI. well i started delivering pizza for Flippers pizza down there. well right in the middle of my delivery area was the orange county convention center, and like 4 times a year they used to have HUGE cheerleading compitions. and these groups of cheerleaders would order like 200 pizzas, well me being the only one who could fit all 200 pizzas in my truck (92 s-10) id always get these huge orders. well id go deliver the pizzas and give a couple of girls my cell # and tell them i have my own house with a pool (rented) and to give me a call if they want to come party.

now i told you that story, so i could tell you this story... so one saturday me and a couple of my buddies were sitting aound the pool drinking beer and smoking some reefer... and one of these girls acctually calls me saying that her and 5 of her friends want to come over and party. so me and my buddies do a quick run down of the house, then go to get some booze.

fast forward to later that night, girl on guy ratio: 6 to 4, empty bottles of booze: 3, booze still left: 60 beers... well i had been flirting with these 2 girls all night, we had alot in "common". well girl #1 her phone rings and she runs off to answer it... so me and girl #2 are left alone. so i ask her if shed like to come check out my room, she says yes... i go to get in my room and one of my buddies is passed the fuck out on my floor, after trying to convince him to get out, he ends up laying on my bed :rant:, well lucky for him my roommates are out of town, so head for my roommates room...

10 min later were in his room, naked, and on our way to a first place finish in the wheelbarrel race nationals. well this girl turns back and asks me to stick it in her pooper, im like WHAT?! are you sure?! so we get up on the bed and i grab a bottle, of what appeared to be lube...now remember completely trashed so the night for me up until this point was kind of blurry, so i take the bottle throw a few splashes on my dick and couple on her butt and go to stick it in... well i get maybe a centimeter in, and this girl runs outa the room screaming, "MY BUTTS ON FIRE!, MY BUTTS ON FIRE!" so im sitting there like WTF?! i flip on the light and my dick is orange, this confuses me even further i thought i may of just unknowningly earned my red wings... well come to find out the bottle i THOUGHT was lube... turns out it was hot sauce.

[WarrensD]

Hot sauce...Priceless!

[DaKoTa 35-2]

Well this is a drunk story and how I lost my V so here goes.

I was a freshman in college, (yeah late start but I've made up for it), and I went to this girl's dorm who was a senior. Not bad, cute face, a little chubby. So everyone is having a good time and she walks up to me in front of everyone and asks if I want to go back to her room.

That's when I let out the quote of the century "I'm not drunk enough yet"!! Mind you this is in front of everyone. My buddy just cringes because he was afraid of what the hell might come outta her mouth next.

What does she do?? Yeah that's right, she went and got me more beer. About 3 hours later I wake up in bed with her!!

:jester: I JUST LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!!! :jester: